The Wit & Wisdom of Martin VanBuren

Numerically, the 8th President. Objectively, the best ruler in the history of man.

June 17, 2004

Every cloud has a silver lining

John C Calhoun, Vice President, dickhead.One advantage to small stature is that you become very accustom to male genitalia being waved in your face.

While at first this seem to be a distinct disadvantage of diminutive height, it does cause a sort of heightening of the senses.

You see, I can recognize a dick the moment he enters the room. Even in the out of doors I'll often remark to Postmaster General Kendall or Secretary of War Poinsett--"Do you see that fellow 75 to 80 paces from our present location?"

When my confidant has recognized the gentleman in question I will proclaim, "Even from here I can tell he is a cockface."

Bounce ta dat yo.


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