The Wit & Wisdom of Martin VanBuren

Numerically, the 8th President. Objectively, the best ruler in the history of man.

June 24, 2004

OHHH, You Invented a Word!

Why can't you be as friendly to the sisters as you are to the white girls?With so little to do in my electrifonic purgatory I have decided to begin reading blogs written by other erudite and well schooled persons.


Having found none of those I turned my attention to a blog of considerable reputation whatevs.org. The proprietor, publisher and primary author of this publication goes by the name of Uncle Grambo which I can only assume is an off handed and rather tenuous reference to Harriet Beecher Stowe's famed Uncle Tom, namesake of the renowned cabin. Though the color painted daguerreotypes of Uncle Grambo would indicate he is of European descent (Grambo, is that French???), his adaptation of the name of the slave who betrayed his own people makes me consider that he is some sort of mulatto or perhaps at least an octoroon. Has Uncle Grambo likewise betrayed his African heritage, left only to wear his guilt in a shoddy pseudonym?


One supposes that only Uncle G will ever know for sure.


Anywho… I noticed that whatevs takes particular pride in the dissemination of its quaint vernacular. Why, every outside reference ever made to a whatevs word is carefully cataloged and shared with its rather incestuous cabal of readers.

My point?

Big deal.

Does anyone actually say "obvs", "schmears", "bovs on my effin' tees", or "uber-robvs durst db"?

No. I think not.

The truth is these are sad little words with little staying power.

What gives me the right to pass judgment?

What kind of expert am I on purposeful insertion of words into the national, yea, global lexicon?

Let's just say I invented a little word know as

OK.


So beloved am I for giving the world OK, that school children paint my illustrious image with colored wax sticks.That's right bitches, I invented OK. It's all mine, all MVB.


Who uses OK?


Oh that's right, everybody.


All the time.


Day. Night. Siam. Bohemia. French Hati. Everybody.


E-V-E-R-Y body.


Oh you don't believe me?


WAAABAAAM!!


What other proof do you need? The White House doesn't lie... at least about dead Presidents... who have been dead a really, really long time and can't hurt the current administration.


Final analysis. OK=verbal gold.


Obvs=the pogs of the linguistic world.


WHHHHHHHHAAATTT?


OOOOKKKKAAAAAY!!!!!

15 Comments:

Blogger JPMcKrengels said...

Old Kinderhook. I know this because Kirk Cameron's character, who's actually Dudley Moore's character went off on a diatribe about the origins of "O.K." in his history class in the classic father-son swap film, "Like Father, Like Son."

11:49 AM  
Blogger President Martin Van Buren said...

Hmmm, oh very interesting... KIRK CAMERON'S gay, I'm awesome.

1:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

President Van Buren--some say posthumous blogging likely to move him up in the pantheon of great Presidents. Could knock Truman down to 6th and take his place as 5th behind T. Roosevelt. However, unless MVB has Rough Riders, a New Deal, crossed the Delaware or proclaimed Emancipation, unbeknownst to history, he's likely to stick at 5th. Still, 5th ain't bad.

2:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_250

the actual history of the term "ok"

take that, bitches!

3:30 PM  
Blogger retrobuzz said...

best post ever!

3:58 PM  
Blogger President William Henry Harrison said...

You dare call me Andrew Jackson? You champagne-sipping imp! It is no wonder I beat you in 1840.

Always remember, Van Buren: Tippecanoe and Tyler, too!

6:01 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

The revered American History scholar Mrs. Cecil Keith also credits Andrew Jackson with inventing "OK"....

9:40 PM  
Blogger President William Henry Harrison said...

Perhaps "OK" was indeed an invention of Van Buren's predecessor, President Andrew Jackson. It certainly was not of the champagne-sipper's creation. And for the record, it was I, William Henry Harrison, who invented the concept of dying in office. En garde, Van Buren!

11:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whether or not Mr. Van B. invented the word "OK," he was certainly instrumental in popularizing a term of enormous future value: "Barnburner" (the name of his faction of the New York Democratic Party). Where would today's sports reporters be without that term, as in: "St. Vitus and Immaculate Heart are locked in a real barnburner down at the CYO arena tonight!"

I do not know which if any deceased POTUS popularized "Real Old-Fashioned Donnybrook," but perhaps other readers would know.

5:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's sad to see that Genl. Harrison's petty class resentments towards his predecessor continue to burn 164 years later. I'm sure MVB recalls the cruel Whig
campaign song from '40:

Old Tip he wears the homespun cloth
For him no ruffled shirt-wirt-wirt
But Van he has the silver plate
And he's a little squirt-wirt-wirt

Since he died from a chest-cold attributable to his vainglorious determination to ride horseback in his Inauguaral Parade, Harrison never got the chance to replace hard cider with champagne. With all due respect, he should get over it.

6:38 PM  
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