The Wit & Wisdom of Martin VanBuren

Numerically, the 8th President. Objectively, the best ruler in the history of man.

July 14, 2004

Donde Esta Kool Moe Dee

I wear my HUGE sun glasses at night
Seriously, has anybody seen him lately?

It seems like one day he taking the air out LL Cool J, disin' his Kangol and the like and the next his career was deader than Daniel Webster.


I mean there was that Treacherous Three reunion LIKE TEN YEARS AGO!!!!

And then he did like one more solo album, then nothing, zilch.

Will Smith shat on Wild Wild West and Dee wasn't even available for comment.

Crap man, Louie Cass swiped a line from one of my speeches in 1847, so I made up the Free Soil Party and ran for president again just to eff with his presidential hopes.

You gotta protect your turf, can't be lettin' no bitch mess with your legacy, I don't care if he's in I-Robot-blows or an old school Michigan Politico.

If you're ever in a fight and you're beating one of us

Break out, before you get bumrushed


Blogger somegirl said...

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5:07 PM  
Blogger somegirl said...

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12:53 AM  
Blogger President Martin Van Buren said...

word up, but that was 20 years ago.

11:07 AM  
Blogger Banjo Jones said...

Long Live The Free Soil Party! Yup.

1:22 PM  
Blogger JB said...

Mr. President --

While Kool Mo Dee's attemps for a comeback have gone over poorly -- much like when you tried to get elected under the Free Soil Party's banner in 1848 -- he has hardly disappeared from the face of the earth!

Witness his public appearance at the "Taste of Summer at Lincoln Center" where he was photographed with such starlets as "Law and Order"'s Elisabeth Rohm and "The Apprentice"'s Ereka Vetrini!

You dig?

4:30 PM  
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6:08 AM  

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