The Wit & Wisdom of Martin VanBuren

Numerically, the 8th President. Objectively, the best ruler in the history of man.

July 01, 2004

When Nicknames Go Awry

Nice ribbons ass munchFor the last time, "Little Magician" is just a nickname.

It refers to my small stature and my supernatural abilities for le politique, nothing more, and nothing less.

I don't know what your card is, nor I will not pull a rabbit from my dapper haberdashery. Have you ever tried to clean rodent feces and urine from a silk lined cap? I don't need BS like that.

Furthermore, if you insist that I cut your wife in half with saw, she will likely bleed to death if she doesn't have a heart attack when the saw actually cuts into her flesh.

So in closing you want some magic? Go see Harry Potter.

Get up and get get get down.


Blogger Vice President Richard M. Johnson said...

Sirah you do these fine people a disservice with your misremembrances. As I recall, the name originated with certain "in-the-know" White House chambermaids, who (being all too familiar with the Presidential manhood) salty noted: “it was minute and tended to DISAPPEAR without warning!”
Hahaha take that you pompous Yankee runt.

11:22 AM  
Blogger President William Henry Harrison said...

I sympathize, Van Buren. My wife, Anna Tuthill Symmes "Fish Taco" Harrison, grew up on the fishing rivers of Ohio and had a penchant for Mexican food.

It's sad how people can miscontrue even the most innocent of things.

1:03 PM  
Blogger President William Henry Harrison said...

Oh, and Johnson, how does my ass look? I figure I'd ask you since you're riding on my Indian-battling coattails. Let's not forget, Mr. "Look-At-Me-I-Shot-One-Indian," during all of those battles, who were you calling SIR?

It was me. Brigadier General William Henry Harrison.

Point, set, match. Bitch.

2:33 PM  
Blogger Uncle Grambo said...

is that My Brother Brennan?

5:46 PM  

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