The Wit & Wisdom of Martin VanBuren

Numerically, the 8th President. Objectively, the best ruler in the history of man.

August 06, 2004

Understanding Your Target Market

Don squeezes out another terdDon Henley recently angered some of his fans in the O.C. by engaging in a mid-concert diatribe about the injustice his good buddy and former boss, Linda Rondstadt, suffered in Las Vegas when her casino gig and even her hotel room were pulled out from under her for promoting Fahrenheit 9/11.

Apparently, a bunch of people walked out of the show in disgust. It's an excellent example of the first amendment in action. Henley has the right to speak his mind and his audience likewise registered their disagreement in a non-violent, yet demonstrable fashion.

And let's face it Henley is easily one of the most irritating, grating and obnoxious celebrity politicos this side of Nancy Reagan. He talked about saving Walden Pond so damn much eventually the guys on the Green Peace boat were like, "You know what? Fuck it. Pave the bitch. Just fill the fucker with cement and call it a day."

PLAY WITCHY WOMAN!!!But the real issue here is that Henley fails to realize that people who like his music also blow the proverbial "donkey-dick". Who in this day and age can honestly rock out to "Boys of Summer" or "Any Eagles Song That isn't the Joe Walsh part in Hotel California"?

Clearly only assholes.

Starched colar-45-year-old-CPA types who plan on a wild night at a "rock" concert by wearing a golf shirt (GET THIS) not on a golf course and maybe having a margarita with the wife. These are the kind of people who find Nora Jones a little too up-tempo and intense.

In short, Henley shouldn't be surprised that half of America seems indignantly oblivious to obvious faults of the current administration, these are the same people that have been acculturated to appreciate schlock in all it's many forms... Eagles Greatest Hits 1 & 2 for example.

Gonna make you sweat 'til you bleed
Is that dope enough?


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