The Wit & Wisdom of Martin VanBuren

Numerically, the 8th President. Objectively, the best ruler in the history of man.

August 03, 2004

You gotts to be shittin me!

W Ketchup has recently become available on the market.


That's right folks, a real honest to god republican ketchup is finally available!


I can see the brainstorming session now:


Hey Susie, how many people out there are stupid enough to think Kerry's wife is the owner of ketchup factories?


Gee Bob, I don't know, it's clearly a publicly traded company, but then again a shit load of people still think Iraq had something to do with 9/11.


Ummmhmm, and Jesus made the top 5 of the most popular Americans in History--I mean, he's a nice guy, son of God and all, but clearly a first century Jew.


Okay, that takes care of the self-delusional and mid-Ameritards, but can't we really blow this thing out?


Assholes.


What?


Assholes. They'll buy anything to bring attention to what utter douche bags they are.


Good call and if the db's don't carry their share we can always dump the excess capacity on Halliburton to serve to the troops.


Yeah, but we'd have to at least quadruple the price first.


$12 bottles of ketchup... Hey this business plan is coming together!!


Yeah between this and our oil organically drilled in small batches by hippies in Vermont we can afford to get citzenship in the Caymans!


Open up your mouth if you want the food



Take in full, Flipmode, cuz I'm in the mood

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