The Wit & Wisdom of Martin VanBuren

Numerically, the 8th President. Objectively, the best ruler in the history of man.

September 16, 2004

Erotic Museum isn't

How many licks does it take to get Hugh off? 1, 2, 3.  3Hugh Hefner was just inducted into the Erotic Museum of Hollywood's Hall of Fame.


The museum which takes a scholarly approach to the subject of erotica picked Hef because to the liberalizing effect of Playboy on American sexuality.


Obvs.


But I'm thinking that they also should have considered that time has not been kind to Hef. Paying young women to have sex with your decrepit and viagra charged pre-corpse is a great gig if you can get it but not real erotic. The fact that your sexcapades take place after lame ass disco parties with Scott Baio, Fred Durst and that guy from Politically Incorrect With Bill Maher (uh, I guess that would be Bill Maher) is totally sad and un-erotic.


Fellow upcoming inductees Mae West, psychoanalyst Dr. Sigmund Freud, birth control advocate Margaret Sanger and sex therapist Dr. Ruth Westheimer should help insure that this museum is the most erotic free zone in all of Hollywood (next to Liz Taylor's place natch).


It takes fifty dollars to make me holler.

26 Comments:

Blogger Isabella said...

Aside from which, not one of the young women in that picture has even half the erotic pull of Lena Olin's mustache.

3:17 PM  
Blogger President Martin Van Buren said...

I prefer the other chick on Alias, but then that's just me.

3:53 PM  
Blogger Isabella said...

I had no idea. I don't have cable and have never seen that show.

I feel like you just told me that Santa Claus didn't exist. Thisis the Lena Olin i want to remember.

8:22 PM  
Blogger Isabella said...

Although i stand by my comment.

8:23 PM  
Blogger President Martin Van Buren said...

Uh, Alias is on ABC. I died in 1862, 92 years before the network broadcast it's first tv show and I knew that. 6 feet under and still hot for Jenn Garner.

HOLLA

11:28 AM  
Blogger The Head said...

I find her a bit mannish.

12:05 PM  
Blogger Isabella said...

Yeah, the revelation that a dead man knew more than i about pop-culture did dawn on me but i'd left too many comments by that time.

Oh well.

Ignorance is bliss.

So have you heard the one about the horse that walked into the bar?

2:01 PM  
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