The Wit & Wisdom of Martin VanBuren

Numerically, the 8th President. Objectively, the best ruler in the history of man.

October 28, 2004

Courtney Love's Weekly Courtroom Wrap Up

Courtney Hole (as Uncle Grambo likes to call her) has been order to stand trial in Los Angles.


Through her agent Ms. Hole made only one request of the court, "Could I like sit, instead of standing trial? Like, standing is so hard when your on as much oxy as I am right now... maybe could I lay on the floor?"


I do more drugs than PeabsReached for comment Courtney's lawyer, Howard Weitzman said simply, "We hope this will be resolved in a way to allow her to move on with her next court case, subsequent release from rehab, embarrassing public display of nudity, violence and substance abuse -- you know just life as usual."


It should be noted Mr. Weitzman was speaking to reporters as he dragged the unconscious former Mrs. Cobain to his E-Class Benz through the parking lot by her feet, exposing only one of her fake boobs in the process.


The E with the criminal behavior
Yeah, I'm a gansta, but still I got flavor
Without a gun and a badge, what do ya got?

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