The Wit & Wisdom of Martin VanBuren

Numerically, the 8th President. Objectively, the best ruler in the history of man.

October 11, 2004

Justify your existence

Tazers, slighty more effective than sling shots, not quite as effective as a kick to the nutsIn an attempt to feel more important than meter maids the British Police force recently got the right to carry stun guns.

We give out guns with Frosted Flakes and the Brits won't even give them to their cops. And these ponces wonder why we kicked their ass in two consecutive wars.

Following the change every bobby will now be required to change their signature line, "stop or I'll say stop again," to, "stop or I'll run up close enough to tazer you, thus incapacitating you long enough for me to hand cuff you, unless of course you are on PCP and thus ignore the electric shock and bite a hole through my face."

You got the blunt (I got the Mac)
You got the clip (I got the gat)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excellent usage of pre-shitty Robin Williams.
- Jervo

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Blogger Contraceptacon said...

Most excellent use of the word PONCE. I applaud you sir

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