The Wit & Wisdom of Martin VanBuren

Numerically, the 8th President. Objectively, the best ruler in the history of man.

October 26, 2004

Lipsynching is no big deal

Everyone is all bent out of shape because some young stage harlot pretended to sing a song but was only mouthing the words to an audiophonic recording. Her father has even gone so far to blame acid reflux syndrome in what can only be a desperate plea to score a prilosec endorsement.

Who gives a crap? It's just show biz and thems are the breaks in show biz.


Sometimes Hamlet drops the skull he's contemplating or Desdemona forgets a line, accidentally lights the stage on fire by kicking over a stage lamp and improvs a little soft shoe to distract the audience.


Like Rush said, all the world can be a stage

Back when I was directing the Lincoln Douglas debates of 1858 it was all I could do to keep those two yahoos on script.


You didn't know the Lincoln Douglas debates were completely staged? Come now don't be so naive, politics is the height of theater and there is no greater stage than the U-S-A.


Anyway, I remember at one debate in Galesburg, IL. Douglas starts into his Dred Scott closing that I wrote for him, this shit is money, I mean really good, when Lincoln just rips a fart out of his gigantism enlarged colon that could wake the dead. Douglas starts gagging and completely loses his place, from behind the curtain I had to finish the end of the debate in my best Douglas impersonation while Steve-o just mouthed the words I was saying.

That’s me, Cyrano Van Buren baby, saving the illusion of democracy for you and yours since the 19th Century.


TO THE WINDOW
TO THE WALL

3 Comments:

Anonymous Acid Reflux Symptom said...

Hello President Martin Van Buren Just read your blog Lipsynching is no big deal Acid reflux disease, also known as Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease or GERD, afflicts millions of people. Many suffer from an occasional bout with heartburn, but acid reflux disease, as a diagnosis, should only be made if the heartburn causes impediments to your lifestyle due to severe, chronic discomfort over prolonged periods of time. Usually, if you suffer from heartburn 2 or more times per week for at least 12 weeks, there’s a good chance that your diagnosis would be GERD. Unfortunately, no one knows exactly what causes acid reflux disease, but there is an ample amount of information available at your doctor’s office and on the Internet.Want more info visit Acid Reflux Cure

7:22 PM  
Anonymous Infant Acid Reflux said...

President Martin Van Buren Hope you feel this fit into your blog Lipsynching is no big deal The other night I woke with pain in my chest.Scared me to no end I tell you.I was sure I was having a heart attack.If anyone ever felt this from Acid Reflux Medication you can sure know I am telling no lies.I always thought the commerial on this were over done,until I experienced it my self. Anyway want to read more on at Acid Reflux Medication ,otherwise I see you later ....

2:53 AM  
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