The Wit & Wisdom of Martin VanBuren

Numerically, the 8th President. Objectively, the best ruler in the history of man.

October 04, 2004

Smell? The best you could find was smell?

DYNOMITE! The Nobel Prize in Medicine was awarded today for two American researchers who performed pioneering research on, "odorant receptors and the organization of the olfactory system."


Yup, that's right they know a shit load about the sense of smell.


Previous winners have included the guy that cured diphtheria (death by green apple splatters) and the dude that discovered DNA--these guys figured out how proteins transfer a SBD message from your nose to your brain...


The only thing I can figure out is that everybody else in medicine took the last year off.


Now where did I put that keyboard?Reached for comment at home, the visually impaired, former child rock prodigy Stevie Wonder said,

I AM BLIND. I CAN'T SEE A GOD DAMN THING, AND THESE TWO SMART MUTHA FUCKAS ARE RESEARCHING THE SENSE OF SMELL? DO THEY HAVE SPECIAL SCHOOLS FOR PEOPLE THAT CAN'T SMELL GOOD? YOU EVER HEARD OF THE HELEN KELLER SCHOOL FOR MUTHA FUCKAS THAT CAN'T SMELL REAL GOOD? I AIN'T NEVER HEARD OF NO SHIT LIKE THAT. WHAT ABOUT CURING BLINDNESS ASSHOLES? SHIT, I'D EVEN BE PRETTY HAPPY IF THEY HELPED THE DEAF, AT LEAST THOSE MUTHAFUCKAS COULD BUY MY GOD DAMN ALBUM. SMELL. GOD DAMN WORST SENSE EVER. MUTHA FUCKAS CAN SMELL MY GOD DAMN FINGER, THAT'S WHAT THEY CAN SMELL.


Word up Stevie, word up.


I know you'd like to think yo' shit don't stank
But lean a lil bit closer see
Roses really smell like poo poo poo
Yeah, roses really smell like poo poo poo

5 Comments:

Blogger Uncle Grambo said...

I didn't know that Prez VB was down with Stevie Wonder. Best reveal since Copperfield made the Statue of Libs "undisappear", yo. Yodel atcha bizzo.

12:51 PM  
Blogger President Martin Van Buren said...

musicquarium. so obvs it's schmobvs.

2:13 PM  
Blogger customer said...

yo but stevie can't smell neither (that car accident in the 70s, check the bio)... so maybe he should be more damn grateful!

2:14 PM  
Blogger President Martin Van Buren said...

Who let him drive?

9:57 AM  
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