The Wit & Wisdom of Martin VanBuren

Numerically, the 8th President. Objectively, the best ruler in the history of man.

November 12, 2004

Best Rap Albums Ever?

EW says this is the best rap album ever...Entertainment Weekly has created a list of the 25 greatest rap albums of all time to coincide with the 25th anniversary of the first rap single to hit the R&B chart, Rapper's Delight by the Sugar Hill Gang.

Does anyone else feel like this is a bit like Ebony doing the top 10 greatest hair metal bands or the Source ranking the works of Merchant and Ivory?

I certainly understand rap's ability to transcend the color line in terms of appeal and cultural relevance; not to mention it's ability to transcend across generations and in my own case the very mortal coil of existence. But seriously how credible is EW in the rap world?

Didn't they discover rap sometime after Lil Kim's third face?

Let me further illustrate my point with a historical illusion.

Artist rendering of the douche bagCongressman Davey Crockett (yes, that Davey Crockett, born on a mountain top, ass shot up at the Alamo) once accused me of dressing like a "gay".

I could have pointed out that same sex intercourse, not clothes makes the homosexual. That MVB and the ladies were on very good terms, that taking a bath and wearing a pirate shirt (hey it was the 19th century, pirates were big) and a tailored suit were befitting a gentleman of my stature. I could have also pulled out my revolvers and popped a cap in his hillbilly ass.

But I didn't get to be President by behaving in such a manner.

I simply asked everyone a simple question.

Good people, are you going to take fashion advice from a guy wearing a fur hat in Washington... in July?

It's sticky as a mutha out here, must be 90 degrees and 95% humidity and the pioneer statesmen has a raccoon tattooed to the top of his head.

And seriously, did you really need to leave the tail on the hat? We all know it's fur, isn't the tail just taking the hunter/gatherer thing a bit too far. And don't get me started on grown men who call themselves, Davey.

Your hands in the air, your mouth, shut!
Cuz I'm on the mic and Eric B is on the cut


Blogger Devil in a red dress named liz said...

Damn, Davey wasn't a rapper? Oh yeah, he was a trapper.

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