The Wit & Wisdom of Martin VanBuren

Numerically, the 8th President. Objectively, the best ruler in the history of man.

November 11, 2004

Gossip Round Up

It's been a bit heavy around here with elections and politics and uhhh stuff. So we thought we'd hit up the old gossip pages for some more light hearted fare.

Liza Minnelli's former body guard M'Hammed Soumayah's claims he was forced to have sex with his boss and that she repeatedly beat him.


M'Hammed are you even gay?

That's what I thought. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury I rest my case, mm'kay.

M'Hammed, despite having an apostrophe in his name is no Joel Grey or Steve-o Guest -- so there is no way Liza Minnelli would have raped him…

Excuse me, I just had one of those little pukes in my mouth.

In other news, Madonna has written a children’s book pointing out that "wealth is overrated."

WWoMVB conducted a nationally representative survey of Americans in line at 7-11 for Cooler Ranch Doritos and Mega Millions tickets, 94% said Madge was, "a stupid whore" and an additional 87% said, "she should shut the eff up."

Irish author, Roddy Doyle has written a new book that "tackles jazz in America"... we'll just leave that for Peabs.

Picked up the telephone and dialed the seven digits.
Yo this is Marquis baby, are you down with it?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mr. President,

What do you think of the NHL lockout?


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