The Wit & Wisdom of Martin VanBuren

Numerically, the 8th President. Objectively, the best ruler in the history of man.

November 30, 2004

Thanks for the Update

How do you solve a problem like Maria?Former NBC newswoman and current California first lady Maria Shriver took time out from her duties at Snake Mountain to inform the public that her husband, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger would never be president because the whole constitution thing is so complicated.


Go see my new movie Jingle All the WayAsked to comment, her husband who is incapable of going 30 seconds without uttering inane film dialog replied, "Of course I couldn't be the President of the United States... I'm a COP YOU IDIOT!"


The Governor then continued that, "a pump was better than cumming." The interview then ended when the Governor decided indiscriminately fondle breasts.


Forget Tony Danza, I'm the boss
When it comes to money, I'm like Dick Butkas
Now who's the first pick? me, word is born and
Not a Christean Laettner, not Alonzo Mourning

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Mr. President...Regardless of what the lyrics web sites say, Shaq says "Forget Tony Danza I'm the boss / When it comes to money, I'm Mike Ditka's boss"...not that that makes any sense or anything.

Incidentally, I have a friend who thought it was "i'm the hooper, hyper, protective Pied Piper" back in high school.

Four More Years!

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Blogger President Martin Van Buren said...

Hmmm, your theory intrigues me, I shall call up Moc Fu or perhaps Poc Fu of Fu-Schnickens to confirm your alligations. In any event, the rhymes are bad -- born with mourn...ing? lame.

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Fu-real

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