The Wit & Wisdom of Martin VanBuren

Numerically, the 8th President. Objectively, the best ruler in the history of man.

December 20, 2004

Isn't he older than me?

Do you mind if I have some of your Sprite?Playboy recently announced it's releasing a video game based around founder, Hugh Hefner.

According to Playboy, "players assume the role of Hugh Hefner, complete with the pajamas known as his favorite attire, and must judiciously allot their time and money to start from nothing and create the magazine, direct photo shoots, construct the iconic mansion and socialize."

In level 8 you find out Lil Kim's a tranny!Other game missions include: Picking the pits out of prunes, designing a matching set of blinged out wheel chairs for Hugh and Fred Durst, coercing girls of the Big Ten to have sex with you in front of Scott Baio and Bill Maher, perfecting a nitro glycerin and viagra cocktail and competitive napping.

Larry Flint is also said to also be working on a game about his life, mixing equal parts graphic beaver shots and pooping your own pants.

And if I was dude
I'd tell y'all to suck my dick


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