The Wit & Wisdom of Martin VanBuren

Numerically, the 8th President. Objectively, the best ruler in the history of man.

December 06, 2004

Tommy Thompson... WHAT A KIDDER!

Tommy Thompson, Tommy Tune, who cares!  They're both FAB-U-LOUSOutgoing Secretary of Health and Human Services, Tommy Thompson warned America that it is woefully unprotected against "food terror."

President Bush however, tried to downplay Thompson's comments as fear mongering that was not in keeping with the White House's approach to intimidation and terror breeding.

"It's this simple, we prefer bogymen with bombs, a stylistic choice perhaps, but that's just how Cheney likes it."

Thompson however remained un-swayed, sticking by his public comments.

"For the life of me, I cannot understand why the terrorists have not attacked our food supply because it is so easy to do. We are importing a lot of food from the Middle East, and it would be easy to tamper with that."

Forget about the food, what about Rikki Rockett's infectious POISON.The ex-secretary continued, "Or even in this country, let's say the terrorists went to Long Beach, dock 47 and while Lou the security guard was taking his "lunch break" for some gin and gin with a side of gin from 9:45 am to 10:15 am. They'd have full access to entire containers of Chilean fruit that they could go poison crazy on that shiznitz."

"It doesn't even need to be that sophisticated. Who among us hasn't put a cheeseburger between our ass cheeks at a company barbeque, pissed in the Sizzler salad bar or stuck our dick in grandma's mashed potatoes. A coordinated effort on the part of terror cells could mean our total food supply could be contaminated with 50%-400% more terrorist ass, piss and wiener germs!"

Mike D With The Vinyl With The Grooves So Rare
And The Rhymes That We're Are Doo Doo
Shit, if it's going to be that kind of a party
I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes
Been Makin' With The Freak Freak, So Unique
I Been Learning From The Elders Now It's Time To Speak


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