The Wit & Wisdom of Martin VanBuren

Numerically, the 8th President. Objectively, the best ruler in the history of man.

January 24, 2005

It's Monday So It Must Be Time For...

RECKLESS SPECULATION!!!!!!


That's right, it's our newest feature at WWMVB, Reckless Speculation.


In this weekly feature, we'll give you all the news that the even most culturally illiterate, spiteful and bile incrusted retards won't print!


By now, everyone has heard that Johnny Carson died at age 79, but did you know that according to a source we'll only refer to as "Johnny's Son" to protect his identity, it was the mere mention of Fran Drescher's new sitcom that killed the late night king?


This weekend Christian Slatter was involved in a knife attack in which no one was stabbed or even cut. The Reckless Speculation desk can only recklessly speculate that the assailant of the desperate for any effing headline anywhere ex-star-hunk was either Stephen Hawking, the long dead Queen Mum or the "I have no legs guy" from Kids.


Did you know the "family illness" that is delaying the new U2 tour is actually a chronic shortage of Bono's Grecian Formula caused by the recent TSUNAMI?


MAYBE THEY SHOULD START CALLING IT SRI LANKIAN FORMULA!!!!


This just in from our man with his ear to the ground, SIX FEET UNDERGROUND THAT IS, former Secretary of State and corrupt bargain maker, Henry Clay, your Mom's a bit of slut.


For a Whig, Henry you slay me, even though I'm ALREADY DEAD!!


Back to the fact I'm the Mack and I know that

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