The Wit & Wisdom of Martin VanBuren

Numerically, the 8th President. Objectively, the best ruler in the history of man.

February 01, 2005

Global Round-up

DO YOU LIKE MY NEW HAT?Nepalese King Gyanendra imposed a state of emergency on his small Himalayan constitutional monarchy this week, cutting off internet and telephone access to the outside world.

While the King is blaming Marxist rebels and the leading democratic party is calling this a royalist coupe -- I'm pretty sure someone in the parliament made fun of the dude's hat.

Don't eff with a dude's haberdashery unless you desire a beat down.

I WILL POINT MY FINGER WHERE EVER I PLEASEIraqi President Ghazi al-Yawer said that American troops should remain in his country to help bring about stability, to protect his ass and because they told him they were going to stay anyway. He then looked directly at the camera, wagged his finger furiously and challenged all and any members of al-Qaida to face him in a steel cage match with the Iron Sheik in Madison Square Garden early in the Spring of 1983.

Camel clutch buzzI've often suggested that the Iraqi insurgency could be broken with the camel clutch, but other's disagree. Some of my sources inside the al-Yawer staff have expressed doubt over the steel cage strategy because they say the Iron Sheik was not Iraqi until sometime during the first Gulf War when he faced GI-Joe's own Sergeant Slaughter. Prior to that the former WWF champ was most definitely Iranian and still many speculate that he is in fact just some Italian guy from Queens.

Shake shake it baby
Shake shake it


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