The Wit & Wisdom of Martin VanBuren

Numerically, the 8th President. Objectively, the best ruler in the history of man.

February 23, 2005

Goodnight Gonzo

Too young, too young.As by now you've heard The Great Gonzo died by his own hand last weekend.


It's really so sad.


Presumably he shot himself with cannon filled with chickens, but we can only speculate until the autopsy comes out I guess.


Tastes like chickenApparently, police also would like to question this man, who was seen with Gonzo a few days before his death at a local Blotter, Acid, Handgun and Convertible trade show down by the fairgrounds.


If you know anything about his current location, you are of course encourage to contact local authorities, unless you're so paranoid you've locked yourself up with a bunch of grapefruit.


Don't let the drink get like that y'all, huh
Pour out a little liquor
Pour out a little liquor
What's that you drinkin on?

36 Comments:

Blogger Banjo Jones said...

POOR Martin Van Buren. A short, bushy-sideburned New Yorker, he was the chief architect of the Democratic Party, the first mass body of its type in the world. But as president of the United States, he had to succeed Andrew Jackson, a handsome warrior with more popular appeal than anyone since George Washington. Then, just weeks into his tenure, a bank panic struck the nation; the effects bedeviled Van Buren, an apostle of laissez-faire, throughout his administration. In 1840, he was defeated for re-election by another military hero, William Henry Harrison.


Van Buren spent the remainder of his long life vainly attempting to hold the Union together. He also struggled to complete a memoir so dreary it found no publisher until almost six decades after his death. In 1997, Little Van surfaced in Steven Spielberg's ''Amistad'' -- as the scoundrel who yearned to send African rebels back to their cruel owners.

Fortunately, this Rodney Dangerfield of presidents has landed a splendid biographer. In remarkably few pages, Ted Widmer, director of a research center at Washington College in Maryland, rescues Van Buren from what E. P. Thompson once termed ''the enormous condescension of posterity,'' by subsuming a failed presidency within a more momentous career. Widmer deftly explains how the pioneering party boss built a formidable machine, using the trick bag of personal contacts and legislative reforms perfected by Lyndon Johnson over a century later. Van Buren grasped that the political future lay more with leaders from booming New York -- the wealthiest, most populous, most ethnically diverse state in the nation -- than with the grandees of Virginia and Massachusetts who had been in charge since the days of the Continental Congress.

Widmer points out that ''the Little Magician'' from Kinderhook was as much a social upstart as the brawling Jackson himself. Van Buren came from a family of Dutch-speaking small farmers; he remains the only president raised in any tongue but English. He had to leave school at 13 and supported himself as a gofer to a local attorney until he could qualify for the bar. Widmer suggests that this background helped inspire Van Buren to topple the deferential network of power left over from colonial days. With the rise of mass parties, ''there would be no more uncles arranging favors for nephews with nosebleeds.'' The Democrat's respect for fellow outsiders was such that he retained on his ticket a vice president, Richard M. Johnson, who was living quite openly with a black mistress and his two children from an earlier affair with a slave woman he'd inherited from his father. Now there's the germ of a screenplay.

Within the ascetic span of a short-biography series, Widmer keenly evokes the environment that enabled Van Buren to thrive. A commercial revolution swept through antebellum America, forcing both politicians and businessmen to dance to the same ferociously competitive tune. One entrepreneur, Widmer notes, turned Independence Hall into a clothing store, vowing that since ''all men are created equal,'' they ought to be able to purchase garments ''as rich, as cheap and as durable as at any other establishment in the nation.''

Widmer also lends a certain dignity to Van Buren's post-presidential attempts to resolve the sectional crisis. While no racial egalitarian, he sternly opposed the South's plans to expand the empire of slavery. In 1848, he ran for president again as the nominee of the Free Soil Party. In that insurgent campaign began gathering the coalition of working- and middle-class Northerners that would elect Lincoln president and then fight and win the Civil War.

Van Buren, as Widmer wisely concludes, was one of those ''not-quite-heroic'' figures without whom no democracy would operate for long. He didn't achieve greatness, but he set a great insight in spin: without vibrant opposition parties, self-government becomes a mockery of its ideals. For that alone, Little Van deserves to be remembered as a big man indeed.



nyt, 2-27-05

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