The Wit & Wisdom of Martin VanBuren

Numerically, the 8th President. Objectively, the best ruler in the history of man.

March 22, 2005

Even his kid prefers Sanders.

Real Barry's don't do roids

Nikolai Bonds was shattered today after finding out his dad was Barry Bonds not Barry Sanders out side a hospital where his father had knee surgery.


"Barry Bonds? You mean the asshole who's going to take Hammering Hank's home run record?"


He continued, "The same guy who used to be as skinny as me and now has a neck like my thighs is my dad?"


"Holy shit, you are Barry Bonds. Why did you give me this jersey and have me talk to Wayne Fontz on the phone? Why did we visit OK State? Did you think I wouldn't find out? God you really are a roided up douchebag."


Roar roar like a dungeon dragon.

99 Comments:

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oh my dear marty, are you losing steam? i notice fewer posts compared to the days of yore. i am now sad.... ok, it's passed.

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I too, miss you, my decaying leader of the executive department. Not that you are in anyway more decayed than our current executive leader, but that is a different story.

The only cool thing about Barry Bonds is that he named his kid Nikolai.

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You are amazing.

8th pres is my inspiration. But, in my opinion, you might be a little more respected and revered with, oh... a beard?

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