So I thought it prudent to come clean before some clever bloggarati (Jazzbot)or full-time blog sleuth, part-time barista came after MVB.
That's right, it's true, I, Gorilla am Martin VanBuren.
In fact, the real Martin VanBuren died in 1862 and as far as the historical record shows, never said, "dude, She-MARS."
I know what you are thinking, you're thinking, "didn't you pretty much let this pitiful excuse for a blog die on the vine months ago, why bother with full disclosure now?"
Right, but how do you know one of my ROOMATES didn't let this pitiful excuse for a blog die on the vine months ago?
"You mean your wife?"
Could be. Or what about my dogs? They're home all day, lots of free time, probably watching TV, they easily could have ordered an associates degree in blogging from ITT Tech or the University of Phoenix.
"So you are saying your dogs wrote MVB?"
Come now, lets not be ridiculous, dogs can't write blogs, they lack opposable thumbs.
They simply told me to write MVB... WITH THEIR MINDS!!
You know they are quite remarkable... not just my dogs, but dogs in general, like as a species. And so full of suggestions.
Dogs, always talked about... wait, no, that's Strays.
But I digress.
I for example would never make disparaging comments about an entire nation of people. For example, I like the Jews, but not at the expense of the Arabs, who also have many fine qualities. And Middle-Eastern food is great -- kudos to the both of you on that – shwarma, baba ganoush -- fun to eat, fun to say.
I mean sure, there was that one thing about killing Indians but that was a joke, so it doesn't really count against me.
"What about that one time you suggested a certain well known blogger had multiple vaginas?"
Uh, yeah, that was an sms message I sent when I stole the person in question's phone number, not a post and I'd like to point out that I nearly apologized for that.
So in closing and in summation, I am MVB and I am not sorry for writing funny jokes over the course of a few months -- but I think both of them were worth it.
When I say freeze you just freeze one time
When I say freeze y'all stop on a dime