The Wit & Wisdom of Martin VanBuren

Numerically, the 8th President. Objectively, the best ruler in the history of man.

April 25, 2005

Quick Hits from the Prez

BOVS’Sheed... MMMMMBEST!


Meteor Shower Surprises New England.
Old England laments, "How come nothing exciting ever happens here?"


Jackson Prosecutors to Wrap Up Case.
"In closing and in summation... COME ON WILL YOU LOOK AT THIS FREAK... I MEAN... ARGGHHHH... THE GUY IS SUCH A FREAK... I'M LIKE TEARING MY HAIR OUT HERE... DID YOU HEAR ANY OF THIS SHIT?"


Clean cut, crooning and strictly isolationist"Now, if they can get either Joey Harrington or Jeff Garcia to play like Scott Mitchell – then they’ll really be onto something special."
Worst advice ever -- Now if we can only get Bush to act like Nixon... well at least he'd get caught.


Bolton Urged to Withdraw As U.N. Nominee
Shouldn't have cut your hair -- it was one of those Sampson kinda deals. But what did you expect from a man who loves a woman but hates international bodies that promote global solutions to bi-lateral and multi-lateral international discrepancies.


Before the beginning of the Civil War I once encountered Jefferson Davis on the streets of Washington, exchanged pleasantries and posed the simple question, "Do you have a small dick? Cause you sure act like a guy who’s intimidated by the mere thought of an entire race of dudes packing more heat than you."


I didn't bother to get into why some pompous southern asshat would be thinking about black schlong all day -- I didn't want to get brain on my new jacket when his head exploded.


Just like Muhummad Ali they called him Cassius

8 Comments:

Blogger Scott said...

Wait you're not quiting? Cause last time it sounded like you were quiting.

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Blogger President Martin Van Buren said...

Hard to say.

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Blogger Blackstar88 said...

I think the "Fox Of Kinderhook" would have done a better job than Dybya from Crawford. It was actually Andy Jackson`s policies that Van Buren inherited, and thus the panic of 1837. What would he think?

4:23 PM  

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